A Distraction From Our Collective High Blood Pressure
interview yourself
Remember when Donald Glover interviewed himself in Interview Magazine? We dragged him a bit on every online corner we could find to type in, yet all he did was fill out his version of a Proust Questionnaire, you know the one in the back of Vanity Fair magazines, the French parlor game? I remember reading them as a pre-teen while sitting in Dominican hair salons, it was a great distraction while my ears felt like they were being barbecued under the hooded dryers set to an unhealthy high temperature. Reading the answers from your favorite actors and feeling relatable to what they penned down was the entry into someone’s life before reality TV. Well more like a peek under the crack of a closed door into someone’s life. We all thought they were so cool! And I forgot about this questionnaire, so I am doing that right now.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
I think I’m here, right now.
What is your greatest fear?
Losing a fistfight
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Wanting to resolve everything.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Moral superiority & mealy-mouthed personalities
Which living person do you most admire?
It’s hard to pick one but currently, I have to say Phaedra Parks and Nara Smith ( I will defend Nara she is a genius)
What is your greatest extravagance?
Eyeglasses. Hats. Rare books.
What is your current state of mind?
Optimistic
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Being honest
On what occasion do you lie?
On the occasions when I interact with people and there isn’t a shared sense of safety.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I really like my appearance a lot. Like I’m obnoxiously confident.
Which living person do you most despise?
My new mailman. Just a curmudgeon, I should break him with a gift of flowers.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
The audacity.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Passion
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I often say “ Are you well?” when someone is doing something that is annoying me.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My current love of my life is the greatest love of my life.
When and where were you happiest?
Last summer, swimming in the pool with my kiddos.
Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to rob a bank and leave alive. Yes, this is a talent.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
To be less agreeable. The internet told me to be upset or love this thing/person/event/viral moment so naturally I must follow suit.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Carrying a child for nine months and not smoking a cigarette.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
I’d be a music album specifically The Emancipation of Mimi by Mariah Carey
Where would you most like to live?
The only place I want to be in is New York, but outside of America— Ireland, or Berlin. Or that pink single-family home that is sandwiched between two gentrified developments in Denver.
What is your most treasured possession?
I’m going to keep that to myself.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Having everything you’ve ever asked for and still not being happy, or longing for people that don’t want you back.
What is your favorite occupation?
Definitely not being a writer.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Complaining
What do you most value in your friends?
Their grace and lack of judgment.
Who are your favorite writers?
Jamaica Kincaid, Claudia Rankine, Deeshaw Philaw, Maisy Card and so many more!
Who is your hero of fiction?
Niklaus Mikaleson - look at you all ready to judge me. I will break this down in a separate post if I need to.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Anne Lister and Pauli Murray- yes Christian queers
Who are your heroes in real life?
My friends who are lawyers
What are your favorite names?
Ava, specifically Ava Cherry ( the singer)
What is it that you most dislike?
People who don’t know how to walk on the sidewalk. It’s so simple follow the system follow the flow.
What is your greatest regret?
I can’t give things I’ve done such a title or power. I give myself grace for things that probably weren’t the best things to do. Having regrets as an adult doesn’t make sense to me. I did what I did! I said what I said!
How would you like to die?
Something dramatic, something camp! Something that will haunt my enemies.
What is your motto?
I’d rather flex than shrink.
Thank you to
who inspired me to do my own Proust questionnaire, and also note that you can sit around with your friends and assign them these questions as well! Something different for really bad taste, I think we all need that once in a while.-C
#2 made my laugh out loud, because why are we like this !
I just love this one! Absolutely a necessary,” “to do lister.” 👍 Love Danny G as well. Authentic. Xo