“If a girl got beef with me we gon’ beef forever.” - Belcalis Almánzar also known as Cardi B—this line is biblical because it is the feeling many New Yorkers live up to…daily. We just are not ever gonna let the beef thaw out, it is in a storage gallon ziplock bag it is in a deep freezer. Cardi B is from the Bronx she is rich and a global superstar and I can assure you she still has beef with someone from elementary school. I know this because I’m still beefin’ with MY 5th-grade nemesis.
Most recently I had a friend asked how I got out of a toxic friendship I told her I lost myself for a minute and forgot that I’m a New Yorker not just any New Yorker Harlem stand-up! I was told by probably social media, and Instagram infographics to turn the other cheek, that violence is bad, ( I wrote a little about fighting and violence here if you missed it #3 It's 2016 Again )And arguing is immature, and confrontation is childish. Which is just code for civil rights 1960 jargon to keep Negros in line, although it is in disguise to it being addressed to everyone. It’s anti-hood it’s anti-loud and it creates self-shame and further perpetuates a culture of remaining silent when done dirty.
Back to my toxic friend, It was when my hood therapist got “unprofessional” and said you really letting a person who moved to YOUR city run you ragged Christy? You from New York you giving her permission to son you?
Being reminded of who I am felt like I just ran freely on the high bridge over the Harlem river without stopping every 5 minutes to check my breathing. I don’t run so this is an enormous feeling. Do you hear the birds singing, Do you feel it too?
If you ever find yourself beefing with a New Yorker, you’re wrong. I’m sorry. If you ever find yourself not picking the side of the New Yorker, you’re wrong. If you are in the middle of the New Yorker’s beef, you guessed it, yes my friends, pick a side, or you’re wrong. Our beef is always warranted, there are petty disagreements, but our tough skin can resolve issues. But if you do us wrong and it isn’t squashed, we will never let you forget it. Us being silent does not mean all is forgotten.
If you’re worried right now, then you probably have beef with a New Yorker.
If we have outstanding beef and let’s say, you live out of state and want to visit NYC but we haven’t handled our beef, you need permission to come to my city. That sounds possessive and mean, and cult-ish. It is, I wasn’t trying to hide that here at all. If you come without hitting us up to talk things through or make things right, and we find out you’re in NYC, well you’re in a pickle, because an additional ten more years has just been added on to the already existing beef.
I know social media has us thinking the influencer frolicking on the subway platform with open-toe sandals for her video has more pull than regular degular folks. ( Cardi B reference for the win) It’s easy for us to believe that if you have hundreds of thousands of followers and that you are popular, you win. But real New Yorkers know the deal, no matter how powerful, or popular you are it takes years to build community, love, and loyalty. That’s why I know my former friend who lives in New York but isn’t a New Yorker, spreads lies about me, and she may think it will never leave the bubble she’s in but my pull in my city runs long my guy! This should be rule number one on how to avoid beef with us, never underestimate the pull New Yorkers have. We know all the drama that is happening whether it is about us or not.
Anyway, why do you need permission to come to NYC if you’re beefing with someone who is a New Yorker? It comes down to something really simple, it’s respect. And I promise you someone will tell us that you are in town; Okay quick pop quiz, let’s see if you’re listening.
How will someone tell you that we’re in town?
Answer: BECAUSE WE HAVE PULL.
A quick New York example:
Jim Jones a rapper and member of the New York hip hop group The Diplomats was a cast member of a show called Love & Hip Hop New York. His wife was beefing with this guy named Maurice, and this beef was an outstanding beef. Jim got word that the person his wife is beefing with is in New York enjoying a nice meal in a restaurant until Jim Jones pulls up on Maurice. Maurice was more than shocked confused and alarmed that Jim Jones knew his whereabouts. And the infamous line Jim Jones said to him was “ You think the comment you made about my wife was conducive to you walking around this city in a comfortable manner?” What did Jim want, you to ask?
I can only assume, what I usually want, and what I was raised to get, and that is respect. We have pride and we rep where we come from and being disrespected in your home doesn’t feel good. Our home isn’t just our address it is the block it is the train it is the corner store it is Laguardia airport!
New Yorkers are tough but we love really hard, we show up, and we feel all emotions and because we have messed up, we realized through the rough experiences and lessons learned that it is probably best to make things right, and when that isn’t reciprocated or avoided, we are confused by the lax behavior others have around our remaining pain that they caused. We just want yall to have your priorities together, we can’t talk about that if we haven’t addressed this. So be mindful, we’re always watching how everyone moves.
Beef with a New Yorker can be squashed, just as it can be avoided.
Harlem girl Kelis is the blueprint the R&B alternative girl, she was the first one to scream on a track! Yet, didn’t get her money for it. She was tricked into not getting her cut to the music she made and doesn’t want the person who stole it from her to continue to get paid for it. That is pretty valid beef. Yet social capital and popularity contests, distort our reality of who is wrong or right, who deserves our support and who doesn’t. We believe that with larger numbers, loads of Instagram followers prove if a whole lot of people are following them they must be good. They must be a better person. Kelis is a Harlem girl all day, seeing New Yorkers ride for her isn’t a surprise, seeing the uptown players ride for her makes even more sense. Bronx girls, Harlem girls, Manhattan girls, are thee style, thee influence and have made a Black wonderland in New York filled with creativity, glamourous fun, and community.
We’re allowed to never forget, to stand up for ourselves, to remind everyone who we are. See I don’t think yall understand who the original uptown girlies are, the uptown girls who have been displaced from their homes and have beef with the government in the city they’re loyal to. The uptown girls who are annoyed to hear that Brooklyn is the coolest place in New York because everywhere uptown is considered ghetto. To the uptown girls who will respond to that and say but they won’t take the train up here and say it to my face. The uptown girls who want their money, who want their respect, who want a courtesy call, who will beef with you until you make it right. This is to the uptown folks that are done beefing with you in private and want everybody to know what’s up!
Listen, our demands of respect and direct communication may be strange to some but New Yorkers are not conflict-avoidant and all of us in this society have been told to keep the peace without addressing harm, abuse, and disrespect despite living in a culture that promotes war and conflict hourly. We believe in picking sides, anyone who side hops can’t be trusted, we believe in giving us a phone call cuz people like Kelis been done dirty and still ain’t get their money.
We won’t forget, and if you don’t want to beef with us for the next life avoid trying us in the first place. And remember a beef can begin with a simple look and a New Yorker asking “ You good?” Just to see the temperature of your energy.
Us beefing with you for the next 40 years isn’t about a lack of growth it’s because of the continued growth that we hold on to better reasons to why the beef is valid and how we deserve respect.
If you do anything today, go handle that beef you got with a New Yorker.
-C
I’ve got as hundred guns a hundred clips...nigga I’m from New York... played in my head as i read this. I 🥩NY.
Honestly 🔥